About a week ago, I was up with Bailey for several hours in the middle of the night. While I sat their holding her in the dark and watching her cry in pain and struggling to breath I found myself getting angry and asking God where he was in all this. I felt like God immediately revealed to me all the ways he has been, is, and will be present. Heather I am in every meal, every phone call, every card, every comment on the blog, every person who has donated their time and expertise to work on the house, every prayer, every gas card. I am also in the pain medications which keep Bailey comfortable, I am in every family member and close friend who has put their life on hold to live life with you during this difficult time. I am in every breath that you take, every dark moment, and every tear that you cry. I am with you always. The most beautiful part is that Matt and I truly feel it.
Our beauiful Bailey is slowly dying in our arms. Her kidneys and other major organs are not functioning well. She is increasingly lethargic, continues to accumulate fluid and her heart rate fluxuates widely. It seems like her time is nearing. It will be both too soon and not soon enough. We trust and we wait.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Heather, my heart breaks for you, how I wish I could be there physically to take some of the burden from you. Just know that you all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I love you all!
ReplyDeleteSusie
And what wisdom could man possibly offer at such a time? The holiness of God brings our words to silence.
ReplyDelete“Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, “Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?” But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, “Do not weep! See, the Lion of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals.”
Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God sent out in to all the earth. He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full on incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song:
“You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.”
*We continue to bring you in prayer before our Loving Father*
In the Hope of Jesus,
rhonda
Watching our friends suffer - in such pain, their hearts shreaded, drained, not able to tolerate one more minute but yet the hours pass.
ReplyDeleteWe are so helpless in our human-ness to comprehend its meaning.
But please know - as we wait with you, we are crying with you, praying with you, and loving you.
There - with the Grace of God - go our friends.
Oh Heather. I have been keeping track of your family through the blog and know that Kirt and I have been praying! I cannot imagine as a mom what your heart feels but I do know that our God is able to prosper and not harm us even through the roughest of roads in our lives. You are lifted to the Throne about daily in our home and that will continue. Know you are loved. Patti Stevens
ReplyDeleteThere are no tears in heaven, Bailey. Dance, sweet precious child of God; Dance.
ReplyDeletei love you, friend. praying a prayer of grace & peace over you and your family tonight.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Jill
Your words are painfully beautiful. I am so encouraged by your faith. I think of you everyday and am so sad that loving your sweet daughter means letting her go. May you be carried through this time and reminded often of God's love.
ReplyDeleteMr. Matt and Mrs. Heather (Aleia knows both of you by these names when we pray before naptime:)
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much. I (Mar) talked with Kim a couple of weeks ago. It was hard to hear from a friends' perspective all that you are going through and yet refreshing to hear your hearts - continually relying on His strength - even in the hardest moments. Thank you for being real, honest and inspiring to so many others who need to see how faith really does make a difference - eternally! God is using you in so many ways through your honesty, including my own life.
I read something recently, although I hesitate to e-mail it, not wanting to come across as "over-relating" or having the answers to this difficult time. BUT...this is something that was so wonderful for me to hear after processing so much suffering here in a 3rd world country, so much poverty. A friend of Joni Erickson Tada's encouraged her with these words, "God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves."
WE love you and are continually praying for your whole family. Can't wait to see you in a few months when we're visiting this Fall.
Marlana (for Chad and the kiddos)
We will be praying...
ReplyDeleteTrusting that as you hold your precious daughter, Bailey, tonight you will feel your Heavenly Father holding you with strong arms close to His tender heart. He loves ALL his children. He knows - your pain, questions, tears, doubts, suffering, and terror. He is acquainted with grief.
ReplyDeletePraying for each one of you.
Kevin & Julie Shuneson
We are holding all of you in our prayers. Know that you are being prayed for all the time and that we are here if you need us.
ReplyDeleteUp late (or early) tonight and thinking of you. How many times you've done this, how exhausted you must be.
ReplyDeleteLots and lots of love dear friends.
psalm 130:5
ReplyDeletei wait for the Lord,
my soul waits,
and in His Word,
i put my hope.
...continuing to break with you as you wait.
There are so many of us that check this blog daily - and sometimes more than once each day - and hold our breath as we do.
ReplyDeleteI hold it waiting for that post that will be "Bailey is free!!" Free of pain, free of suffering.
There is a place in my heart that waits for a miracle that will be that freedom.
Then there is the the other place in my heart that has been bruised by reality.
Praying today that Bailey gets her freedom...
Love to you always.
I think so often of a song we sang in choir and then again in VBS a couple summer's ago. Everytime i get to the last verse, I cry and think of you. It seems so appropriate now though.
ReplyDelete"And with your final heartbeat,
kiss the world goodbye.
and go in peace and laugh on Glory's side.
And fly to Jesus-
fly to Jesus,
fly to Jesus and live."
Sending love and prayers.
Happy Father's Day Matt. I hope your day was blessed with peace and comfort today.
ReplyDelete