About a week ago, I was up with Bailey for several hours in the middle of the night. While I sat their holding her in the dark and watching her cry in pain and struggling to breath I found myself getting angry and asking God where he was in all this. I felt like God immediately revealed to me all the ways he has been, is, and will be present. Heather I am in every meal, every phone call, every card, every comment on the blog, every person who has donated their time and expertise to work on the house, every prayer, every gas card. I am also in the pain medications which keep Bailey comfortable, I am in every family member and close friend who has put their life on hold to live life with you during this difficult time. I am in every breath that you take, every dark moment, and every tear that you cry. I am with you always. The most beautiful part is that Matt and I truly feel it.
Our beauiful Bailey is slowly dying in our arms. Her kidneys and other major organs are not functioning well. She is increasingly lethargic, continues to accumulate fluid and her heart rate fluxuates widely. It seems like her time is nearing. It will be both too soon and not soon enough. We trust and we wait.