tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2403803023591176342024-03-06T00:40:29.469-08:00seven sparrowsseven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-79029485071366942002012-08-13T18:46:00.000-07:002012-08-13T18:46:04.965-07:00Grief and Celebration.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we grieve....the life and death of our daughter, Bailey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we grieve....her suffering.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we grieve....our suffering, and the suffering of so many who hurt with us, and for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we grieve....two years of missing her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we grieve....living in a fallen world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>Praise God it doesn't end there!!!!!</em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we celebrate....that Bailey is healed, and will never hurt again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we celebrate....that Bailey is in the arms of Jesus.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we celebrate....the gift of community, and the body of Christ. It is beautiful how so many continue to surround us, and be God's hands and feet. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we celebrate....that God has been, and continues to be present.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today we celebrate....Jesus' promise, that he is coming back soon.</span> </div>
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seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-73162224903998835212012-07-14T06:04:00.000-07:002012-07-14T06:04:48.852-07:00Prayer<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I came across this prayer that Matt had written last year. As we approach the two year marker of Bailey being in Heaven, I am finding I need to read this on a continual basis. This has been such a gift for my grieving heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Faithful Father,</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>We come to you today with sorrow and gratitude, with joy and with pain. We thank you for the gift of Bailey's life, and we thank you for the gift of her death. Help us to resist the impulse to try to resolve this paradox.</em></span><em><br /></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Thank you for answering our desperate cries and for rescuing our beautiful daughter. Thank you that she is free and no longer suffers. Thank you for reminding us even as we grieve the loss of witnessing her first steps, first words, and first day of school, that she has experienced other beautiful firsts. Thank you for the image of her experiencing the first glimpse of your face and entering your perfect embrace.</em></span><em><br /></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Thank you for your faithfulness. We now know by experience what we have always believed by faith. You are our hope, our rescuer, our protector, our provider, and our peace. You are enough in all things and at all times. Thank you for your unspeakable sacrifice so that <strong>death does not win</strong>. Father help us to remember and be comforted by your constancy. Give us peace in knowing that you will give us the "daily bread" of grace and hope that we need for today. Thank you for your promise, that you will bring that same grace, and hope tomorrow.</em></span><em><br /></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Thank you for the gift of family and friends who are willing to journey along side us and enter into the pain and messiness of life. Thank you for giving them patience and understanding. </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Father we beg that you would keep us from being consumed by the trivial and the temporary and instead would continue to give us glimpses of life as you meant it to be lived. We long that you would use Bailey's life and her story to do beautiful things.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Amen!</em></span>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-55805880956478560302012-02-20T17:55:00.004-08:002012-02-20T17:55:52.529-08:00living in the hallways<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i know a man who has</span> two sons. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Both of his sons are married, and both their wives became pregnant in the same year. Out of the two pregnancies, ONE ENDED IN A MISCARRIAGE, THE OTHER IN A HEALTHY BABY BOY. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so twice in that year this man I know went to the same hospital, walked down the same hallways with his same family members. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first time to grieve and mourn, the second time to rejoice and celebrate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WE LIVE IN THE HALLWAYS, DON'T WE?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>excerpt from Rob Bell's, <u>Drops like stars</u></em>.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Living in the hallway! </em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>We can't "just celebrate" today, we must grieve, but we also can't "just grieve" because we have so much to celebrate. </em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Happy Birthday Bailey and Alexis - you are so sacred and special!!</em></span></div>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-61946903066444527642012-02-06T08:10:00.000-08:002012-02-06T08:10:29.735-08:00today....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today our beautiful daughter has been in heaven as long as she was here with us. I had planned to write more, but I'm just not able too. We love you, and we miss you Bailey. So glad you are free.</div>
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Thank you to my sisters who captured some of these beautiful pictures at Bailey's one-year memorial. seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-75116876555004593182012-01-18T06:40:00.000-08:002012-01-18T13:32:43.825-08:00joining<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I have learned many things from my children, when I have been willing to listen and have a teachable spirit. They see the world so clearly - it's not clouded by past hurts, bioses, etc - there hearts are pure and beautiful, and they are willing to take emotional risks. My daughter McKenzie has taught me, and reminded me on several occasions about the importance and beauty of "joining." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">A few short months after Bailey had died, the kids and I were watching her video. I was crying so McKenzie came over and just sat beside me. Without saying a word, she reached over and placed her hand over my heart, and pressed firmly. After a few moments of silence she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm just going to hold your heart so it doesn't hurt so bad." I was speechless - my five year old understood that nothing - no actions or words - could fix this kind of hurt, she knew that sometimes the best thing is to simply offer our presence. She "joined" me in the pain of that moment, and in her joining me she opened herself up to feel my pain, and also acknowledge her own. It was beautiful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"Joining" can be risky business. It opens you up, you become vulnerable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">This past week some very dear friends of ours, watched their mother die. In "joining" them it was painful. I hated knowing that they watched someone they loved die. In entering their pain, I also had to acknowledge my own. -- </span><span style="font-family: Georgia;">I hated watching our daughter slowly die. I hated watching my husband carry her broken body out to the hurst knowing that I would never hold her, feel her, or smell her body again this side of eternity. -- These friends fully entered into our pain, holding our hearts and acknowledging the pain of living in a fallen world. They could have easily chosen to not "join" us, but we are so grateful they didn't. Because they were willing to feel our pain they lessened it by letting us know we were not alone. They also blessed us greatly when they allowed us to "join" them in their pain and grieve for them and with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">So sometimes joining hurts, it really hurts; but it also carries the potential for tremendous blessings. I think of so many who "joined" us in our walk with Bailey. If they would have protected themselves and not allowed themselves to really enter into our story they would have missed out on knowing one of the most beautiful treasures, Bailey Hope. She was truly beautiful and reflected God in a way I had never seen or experienced. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I can't imagine how empty life would be if I didn't allow myself to "join" others, and if others didn't ask or allow us to "join" them. We would have missed out on so much. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">When we are willing to live life with others and "join" them and allow them to "join" us, we experience true community, and I believe in those moments we get a glimpse of Heaven. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you McKenzie for the beautiful picture of "joining." Thank you Ben and Jaren for allowing us, and entrusting us to "join" you, we love you and grieve for you. Finally, thank you to our family and friends, and even strangers who were courageous enough to "join" us when we needed you most. We are truly grateful.</span></em>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-91745524770364806032011-10-26T18:32:00.000-07:002011-10-28T18:48:47.977-07:00Bottle of Tears<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have, and continue to be amazed by God's love for us. I was especially feeling God's overwhelming love on Monday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For no particular reason it was a very difficult grieving day for me, but I'm learning that's just the nature of grief - it comes when it comes, without warning, with overwhelming strength. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Later that day, a dear friend sent me an email of a blog entry that she had read earlier that made her think of me. (Coincidence - I think not!) I was so grateful for these words, they were truly a gift from God and came on the most perfect day. </span><br />
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<em>My Bottle of Tears by Kristi Huseby (<a href="http://brokenandredeemed-kristi.blogspot.com/">http://brokenandredeemed-kristi.blogspot.com/</a>) </em><br />
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<em>I confess I’m a crier. I cry at movies, at baseball games when the National Anthem is played, at graduations, weddings, funerals. I cry when I hear a sad story, when someone else cries, when I share what God has done in my life, when I’m angry and when I laugh hard enough.</em><em><br />
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<em>I hate the fact that I cry so easily. It can be incredibly embarrassing for one thing. And for another, it puts people in an awkward position. But crying can be a good thing!</em><br />
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<em>God created tears. It is in His design that we cry.</em><br />
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<em>I love the Psalms! Because they give us beautiful pictures of what our intimate relationship with God is like. And Psalm 57:8 (NLV) gives us one of those snapshots of God’s tenderness with us when we are experiencing incredible sorrow in our life. </em><em><br />
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<em>“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” </em><br />
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<em>(Yes, I’m sure I have a very BIG bottle!)</em><br />
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<em>God not only keeps track of all our sorrows, hurts and heartaches – He has recorded them in His book and every tear we’ve cried He has stored in our bottle, the one He keeps just for us. </em><br />
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<em>I wonder, does my bottle have my name on it? Is it a special color? Does God, my Father look at my bottle full of tears and say? “Aaah, that one is my daughter Kristi’s. See her bottle of tears, they are so precious to me, I treasure each one. I am intimately acquainted with all her ways and I love her. When she has cried tears that no one sees, I have seen, I know and cherish each one because I cherish her.”</em><br />
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<em>What a beautiful gentle picture this is of our God! - a Father who tenderly collects our tears and holds them close to His heart. </em><br />
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<em>Have you ever stopped to consider that God is keeping track of all your sorrows? That He knows each one of them. He has seen you cry until you can’t cry any more. He has witnessed your heartache over a difficult child, a wayward spouse, a broken friendship, or the death of a loved one. He has seen your tears when you have cried all alone in the dark, not sure of where to turn or where to go. He has recorded each one in His book and collected your tears in the bottle He has just for you. How precious you are to Him!</em><br />
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<em>So let the tears flow and know that your God cares for you intimately and with great passion!</em> <br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank You God for loving me just as I am, IMPERFECT. </span>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-5011769909464456312011-08-14T18:13:00.000-07:002011-08-14T18:20:07.157-07:00Firsts<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As a parent you dream about all kinds of firsts. First smiles, first words, first steps, first birthdays, and first days of school. A few days ago, I came across Bailey's baby book, and I was confronted once again with the harsh reality of all the firsts we never had, or ever will have with our precious daughter. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Through my tears, I was reflecting on this past year of firsts. The kind you pray that you will never experience. The first birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and family photos without your precious loved one present. After lots of tears (and believe me there were a lot) I called my best friend. First he just listened and then he said, "Heather, our beautiful daughter is the first to experience pure joy, she is the first to sit at Jesus' feet, she has experienced the best kind of firsts." I was so grateful for Matt's words, they brought me such comfort, and a much needed perspective. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> We have lived through a lot of our firsts without Bailey, and while we desperately miss her presence, her sweet coos, and delicate curls. We praise God daily that he rescued our beautiful daughter from her suffering. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We miss you Bailey, and we can't wait to experience "firsts" with you in Heaven. </span>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-76890650815606314212011-05-08T11:15:00.000-07:002011-05-08T11:15:55.011-07:00selfless sacrificei can't help but think of the selfless sacrifice both of our mom's have made for us the past three years. they have denied thier own plans and dreams to be readily available for Matt and I, and our children. so thank you to my mothers who have given up so much for us, and have been such an example of a mothers love. you are both so appreciated and loved beyond words. happy mothers day!seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-88962569901553363592011-04-24T17:51:00.000-07:002011-04-24T17:51:31.390-07:00EasterThis Easter has been such a powerful reminder of our helplessness and inadequacy in contrast to His power and sufficiency. <br />
<br />
<br />
As Heather and I talked this week, and grieved for others in our community who have experienced unimaginable loss, we were reminded of the incredible faithfulness of God in our lives. Heather remarked that it is impossible to talk about our daughter Bailey without talking about our God.<br />
<br />
In a beautiful book by Nancy Guthrie Called <em>Holding on to Hope</em> she describes genuine worship as "the words that flow from our lips and the works that flow out of our lives...to glorify God and honor him for who he is and what he has done." <br />
<br />
<br />
Father we desire to lift up Your name as high as we can for as long as we live. <br />
"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord."seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-13741957245297663312011-02-20T10:53:00.000-08:002011-02-20T10:53:26.394-08:002 years...Taking in today....crossing lines between joy and grief.<br />
<br />
we remember sweet Bailey Hope.<br />
oh how we miss your beautiful eyes...<br />
they said more than words could even begin to speak. <br />
your sweet sugary cheeks...snuggling you in your favorite<br />
fuzzy blankets and listening to songs that put you to sleep.<br />
you are missed sweet child...by so many..you are missed.<br />
<br />
we celebrate you Alexis Joy.<br />
you turn 2 today. you bring such joy to everyone<br />
who spends time with you. your infectious smile and contagious <br />
giggles remind us that in the midst of devastation, God is near.<br />
that He remains steady...bringing your precious family joy alongside<br />
grief.<br />
<br />
we love you.<br />
we remain sitting with you...crossing lines with you.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-54744388688441102822010-12-28T17:48:00.000-08:002011-01-04T06:41:39.717-08:00Season of PauseOur experience with the life and death of our daughter Bailey has not ended. It does not sit tied up in a nice, neat, and easily understood package. We are not who we were, nor are we who we will be. Heather and I continue to "sit" in a place of allowing and longing to be changed by this experience. We are acutely aware of our desperate need for God. There is an intermingled sense of profound sadness and of genuine worship for Jehovah Shammah (ever present one) in our hearts and in our home. We are taking an intentional season of pause with the hope that we will emerge healthy and whole, both as individuals and as a family. It is our prayer that this wound will heal into a scar that is a visible and visceral reminder of His faithfulness.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-47814359354360278352010-09-22T07:52:00.000-07:002010-09-22T08:02:00.469-07:00Bailey's Journey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzrWM_T7dcy-3C9njK78QrUI8z9dCjqy-IS6KViENZU9wt8x_NgeWcAWM7A1IzPl4KiQrgJiUNkpwyIWhmAMA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;"><em>Sharing some of our most precious moments with our daughter...</em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-small;"><em>oh, how we miss her so. We cling only to the hope of heaven, </em></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-small;"><em>that we will one day hold our sweet Bailey again.</em></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">A few technical notes...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">before you watch it, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">go to the bottom of our blog </span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">and 'pause' </span><span style="font-family: Georgia;">the playlist. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">if you watch it full screen,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">it will be very pixelated because</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: xx-small;">we had to downsize it to fit the blog size.</span></div>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-45997016306103765382010-08-26T05:51:00.000-07:002010-08-26T05:51:36.896-07:00Thank youWe want to say thank you to the countless family members, friends, co-workers and even those we do not know for the incredible love and support they have given. So many individuals and families have given selflessly in such beautiful and unique ways. We have been blessed. Thank you.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-24195228709265872992010-08-15T10:44:00.000-07:002010-08-15T10:54:58.589-07:00services<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> viewing </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">monday</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">august 16, 2010</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">6:00 - 8:00 p.m.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">throop funeral homes</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">214 church street</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">coopersville, mi 49404</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Grand+Rapids&1s=MI&1y=US&1l=42.963299&1g=-85.668098&1v=CITY&2c=Coopersville&2s=MI&2a=214+Church+St&2z=49404-1202&2y=US&2l=43.06386&2g=-85.93309&2v=ADDRESS">directions to throop funeral homes</a></span><br />
<br />
service<br />
<br />
tuesday<br />
august 17, 2010<br />
<br />
11:00 a.m.<br />
<br />
coopersville reformed church<br />
423 w. randall st.<br />
coopersville, mi 49404<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Grand+Rapids&1s=MI&1y=US&1l=42.963299&1g=-85.668098&1v=CITY&2c=Coopersville&2s=MI&2a=423+W+Randall+St&2z=49404-1342&2y=US&2l=43.05984&2g=-85.93796&2v=ADDRESS">directions to coopersville reformed church</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.throopfh.com/obituary.php?Obituary_ID=77">more information here</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_1939700471"></span><span id="goog_1939700472"></span></span></div>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-30571547999811324572010-08-14T05:36:00.000-07:002010-08-14T05:36:32.303-07:00From our arms to his.Our sweet Bailey is finally free. Today is the first day she will not have to struggle or experience pain. For that we are so grateful.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-71945268668410437912010-08-09T21:29:00.000-07:002010-08-09T21:29:51.787-07:00Heaven StandsToday was an extremely difficult day for us. Bailey hasn't eaten for about 20 days and our hospice nurse shared that Bailey's lungs are completely full of fluid. While we know she is dying it's beyond difficult to watch it and hear it, day in and day out. As I sat there holding our beautiful daughter and crying, the song, "Your Hands" came to my mind.<br />
<br />
.....when my world is shaking.....Heaven stands.<br />
.....when my heart is breaking.....I never leave your hands. <br />
<br />
Gods hands literally shook my world two weeks ago. It was the Thursday night after Bailey stopped eating, she had a very difficult day and we felt as though God was going to take her home. That night their was the most incredible thunder storm. I laid on our living room floor holding Bailey's hand, watching the lightning bolts streak across the sky, and feeling the thunder shake our house. God clearly reminded me of how GREAT and powerful He is. Heather, I command the earth, I am bigger than death, I win.<br />
<br />
What a comfort to know that when our world is shaking, <strong><em>heaven stands</em></strong>. When our hearts are breaking, <strong><em>we never leave his hands</em></strong>. seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-83785215915234534612010-07-29T10:36:00.000-07:002010-07-29T10:36:47.319-07:00We contiue to waitBailey stopped eating 10 days ago and her lungs are again filling with fluid. The hospice nurses who visit daily feel that it is only a matter of days. She is comfortable most of the time with the help of several medications each hour. As McKenzie sobbed last night she said, "Daddy my heart hurts." This succinctly expresses how Heather and I feel. Although we are worn out with waiting and do not understand why Bailey continues to be in this place we trust in the ONE who does know why. We depend on him daily. Hourly. Each moment. Please continue to pray for Bailey's comfort in the waiting, pray for our strength and for our children to have a supernatural sense of understanding and peace.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-85998254651634378032010-07-23T12:37:00.000-07:002010-07-23T12:39:58.248-07:00please pray.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">hospice has come to the house every day this week to check on bailey.</div><div style="text-align: center;">they have increased her pain medications <i>significantly.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">yet, each day, she seems to grow more and more uncomfortable.</div><div style="text-align: center;">her digestive system is starting to slowly shut down...</div><div style="text-align: center;">she is unable to take any more food into her little body.</div><div style="text-align: center;">her kidneys are also starting to fail.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
please pray that in these last hours/days </div><div style="text-align: center;">that bailey will be free.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">free from pain.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">free from the constraints of breathing machines and oxygen.</div><div style="text-align: center;">free to be able to eat chocolate cake and blueberries...</div><div style="text-align: center;">like mckenzie so wants her sister to do. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">we continue to pray angels of protection around the mekkes home...</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
that matt, heather, bailey, alexis, mckenzie and carter</div><div style="text-align: center;">sense His Presence.</div><div style="text-align: center;">our</div><div style="text-align: center;">Prince of Peace,</div><div style="text-align: center;">our Comforter and King.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-73759177294532976722010-07-13T12:00:00.000-07:002010-07-13T12:00:37.109-07:00mekkes meals<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=HQUN1005">take them a meal</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">just a brief update...</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">danae set up this site for</div><div style="text-align: center;">all of us.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> this will make it easier to sign up for meals.</div><div style="text-align: center;">thank you for your continued care for this precious family.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-50421427147620806962010-07-06T12:00:00.000-07:002010-07-06T12:18:44.128-07:00rollercoasterThe days, weeks, and months continue to go by, not quickly but they pass none the less. Each week carries new struggles and difficulties for us and Bailey. Bailey seems to have new complications and issues each week, adding to the complexity of our ultimate goal, which is for her to be comfortable. Bailey’s body is slowly wearing down and she dies a little more every day. Each high that she experiences is not quite as high and each low is much lower and more painful. There are not adequate words to describe what this rollercoaster of anticipatory grieving is like.<br /><br />Psalm 119:81 “I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word.” We are exhausted and grieved while we wait for Bailey to be free from pain. Please continue to pray for our family as we trust and we wait.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-37961570355418120002010-06-21T10:21:00.000-07:002010-06-21T10:24:06.732-07:00...as we wait upon the LordStrength will rise as we wait upon the Lord<br />We will wait upon the Lord<br />We will wait upon the Lord<br /><br />Our God, You reign forever<br />Our hope, our Strong Deliverer<br />You are the everlasting God<br />The everlasting God<br />You do not faint<br />You won't grow weary<br />Our God, You reign forever<br />Our hope, our Strong Deliverer<br /><br />You are the everlasting God<br />The everlasting God<br />You do not faint<br />You won't grow weary<br />You're the defender of the weak<br />You comfort those in need<br />You lift us up on wings like eagles<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Everlasting God by Chris Tomlin</em></span>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-12088811253996879392010-05-27T12:11:00.000-07:002010-06-02T06:16:40.053-07:00Where are you God?About a week ago, I was up with Bailey for several hours in the middle of the night. While I sat their holding her in the dark and watching her cry in pain and struggling to breath I found myself getting angry and asking God where he was in all this. I felt like God immediately revealed to me all the ways he has been, is, and will be present. Heather I am in every meal, every phone call, every card, every comment on the blog, every person who has donated their time and expertise to work on the house, every prayer, every gas card. I am also in the pain medications which keep Bailey comfortable, I am in every family member and close friend who has put their life on hold to live life with you during this difficult time. I am in every breath that you take, every dark moment, and every tear that you cry. I am with you always. The most beautiful part is that Matt and I truly feel it.<br /><br />Our beauiful Bailey is slowly dying in our arms. Her kidneys and other major organs are not functioning well. She is increasingly lethargic, continues to accumulate fluid and her heart rate fluxuates widely. It seems like her time is nearing. It will be both too soon and not soon enough. We trust and we wait.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-77455326091316365312010-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:002010-05-08T15:11:10.179-07:00meals<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family:Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><div id="readMsgBodyContainer" class="ReadMsgBody BorderTop" onclick="return Control.invoke('ReadingPane', '_onBodyClick', event);" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; margin-bottom: 3em; "><div class="ExternalClass" id="MsgContainer" style=" line-height: normal; font-family:Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;font-size:10pt;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">it has been another exhaustingly, rough week. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">bailey continues to be in more pain. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> they have increased her morphine to an hourly dose,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">and have changed her feeding schedule to an all day drip...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">this seems to allow bailey's digestive system to not</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">have to work as hard. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">she is starting to retain fluids again-</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">so, medications are changing again to try and make her</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">more comfortable.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">her breathing is very labored as well.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">there really are no adequate words </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> that could depict the exhaustion that</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">each member of the family is feeling at this time.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">it's time to start up meals again...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> we would like to start the schedule may 10-</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">{which happens to be matt's birthday *wink}</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">if you are able to </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">make a meal </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">please email danae gee. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">{geedanae@gmail.com}</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">thank you for your </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">time and energy-</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">your gift is more than a fantastic meal,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:medium;">you are giving them time...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">so thank you in advance for the gift of time.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">**also, a special thank you to those who </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">sent gas cards...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> matt and heather have been so grateful for all that you have given.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">each of you is making a difference-with your </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">time, talents and treasures-</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">thank you for allowing them to touch </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">this precious family.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div></span>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-22617805938910055402010-03-29T19:56:00.000-07:002010-03-29T20:51:54.590-07:00How are you? ........ How is Bailey?Two simple questions but the answer is anything but simple. Against all the odds we are still able to hold our precious Bailey. While we cherish every moment we have with her, it is indescribeably painful to have watched her suffer for the last year. Matt and I long for the day when Bailey will be free from all pain, but we also grieve knowing that the day she is free, the day she dances with Jesus (what her big sister McKenzie says) ...is the day that we will no longer see her face, hold her, bathe her, watch McKenzie, Carter, and Lexi love on her and kiss her. <br /><br />So you ask.....how are you? <em>I am breathing.</em> I love what my husband wrote the day after we found out about Bailey's diagnosis, "God is good, not in a cliche way but in a way that allows you to take the next breath." <br /><br />How is Bailey? <em>she is struggling to breathe</em>. We are still signed on with Hospice and continue to use several different pain medications as well as oxygen to keep her as comfortable as possible.<br /><br />We continue to be amazed at the out-pouring of love we have recieved from so many people, and in so many ways. Thank - you is truly inadequate.seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240380302359117634.post-7288471092712933762010-03-19T15:41:00.000-07:002010-03-25T22:10:08.505-07:00another wave...<div align="center"></div><div align="center">i wish i could put words to what matt, heather and their</div><div align="center">family are experiencing at this time. i wouldn't even be able</div><div align="center">to begin...this moment sits in an entire universe that moves</div><div align="center">so differently than most of ours.</div><div align="center">the lines of grief run strikingly famliar each day, </div><div align="center">each day holds something entirely different for bailey.</div><div align="center">that is why many of these updates are simple...</div><div align="center">meant to express matt & heather's love and gratitude </div><div align="center">for each of you, and to keep you up-to-date </div><div align="center">on their current needs.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">thank you for your prayers and support for </div><div align="center">this precious family. </div><div align="center">you have been a continuous blessing-</div><div align="center">bringing meals, cards, gifts, and interceding </div><div align="center">through prayer...</div><div align="center">thank you for listening to what God has been laying on your heart. </div><p align="center">please know that there is no pressure </p><p align="center">for you to do anything...we know God will</p><p align="center">provide and He will use each of us </p><p align="center">at different times and in different ways in this journey.</p><p align="center">{also, matt and heather would ask for nothing if they could...</p><p align="center">these requests/ideas are coming from friends}</p><p align="center">if you are able to help, </p><p align="center">here are some needs for their family right now.</p><p align="center"></p><p align="left">1. gas cards - heather's sisters and mom have been traveling-and will continue to travel back and forth from lake city to coopersville each week. each trip costs about $20.00. our thought is to send matt and heather gas cards in the amount of $20...that way, each time a sister, or mom comes to help out, they are able to send them home with a gas card to cover their trip.</p><p align="left">2. meals - danae continues to sign people up for meals. each meal is extremely helpful and greatly appreciated. if you are looking to prepare a gluten-free meal for their family...check out the blog...i have included some links that have easy recipes to follow!</p><p align="center"><a href="http://www.theglutenfreeweek.com/php/recipe.php?recipe=Simple%20Gluten-Free%20Pasta">simple gluten-free pasta</a></p><p align="center"><a href="http://sweet-potato-casserole/">sweet-potato-casserole</a></p><p align="center"><a href="http://www.theglutigirls.com/2008/01/our-new-home-and-baked-pesto-chicken.html">baked pesto chicken</a></p><p align="center"><a href="http://glutenfreetasteofhome.blogspot.com/2009/12/gluten-free-pasta-broccoli-alfredo.html">gluten-free pasta broccoli alfredo</a></p><p align="center">**if you are interested in sending a gift card to a restaurant...</p><p align="center">here is a gluten-free restaurant guide - <a href="http://gfkitchen.server101.com/GlutenFreeGuideTo_Eating_Out.htm">gluten-free guide to eating out</a></p><p align="left">3. gluten-free meals - we would like to get heather more of the prepared gluten-free meals. if you have interest in helping out on this front, please contact me...jaren </p><p align="center">thank you again for being His hands and feet.<br /></p><div align="center"></div><p align="center"><br /></p>seven sparrowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03687764413938320600noreply@blogger.com1